“And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.” - Need You Now (Lady Antebellum)
“I wake up lonely, there's air of silence
In the bedroom and all around.” - It Must Have Been Love (Roxette)
“Love takes time
To heal when you're hurting so much” - Love Takes Time (Mariah Carey)
“Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark.” - Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler)
“Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes.” Photograph (Ed Sheeran)
These are my top 5 breakup playlist. I used to sing these songs with bitterness in my heart.
Reality is, letting go costs a lot. I have my own fair share of loving and letting go, of weeping and wiping the tears away. There were times I cried myself to sleep and woke up with my pillow saturated with tears, times when every part of me was slowly breaking apart, crushed to tiny pieces. My then tender heart was calloused with too much pain.
I bet you have your own story of mending a wounded heart. Or chances are, you’re still healing your heart now. When the story you thought would be a “happily ever after” faded away right before your eyes, your world becomes shattered, your mind filled with questions left unsaid.
If your heart is screaming with emotions you kept deep within, don’t worry, you’re not alone. I’ve been receiving messages from friends asking how to let go and move on, for good. That is why I am so inspired to write this article to share the wisdom I gained from nursing a wounded heart. The lessons I learned are worth the throbbing pain.
It is true that the process of letting go is painful and hard. You need someone to be there for you through it all. It is wonderful to open up to people close to your heart. (But hey! Not to the one who broke your heart okay? Lol)
Who are the people that you trust? I pray you have a strong bond with your family, that there isn’t a thick wall between you and your parents or your siblings. It feels great to have a good cry on your dad’s shoulder. Your mom can embrace you and even tell you all the heartaches she went through before finding your dad. Your siblings can tell you, “Cheer up! We’re here to love you always!”
I’m aware that this doesn’t happen in every home. I pray you have a friend whom you can always run to, someone who stays with you in your ups and downs. It’s a good feeling to vent out, and tell someone how much it hurts. Being with a true friend in times of distress (and happiness too) is truly precious. You can be your true self, without any masks. You can cry your heart out. The kind of friend who will not tolerate your mistakes but loves you enough not to leave you alone no matter how messed up you are. Sorrow is lessened when shared with a real friend.
For the broken hearted men, you don’t have to hide in a cave to let out a painful cry. Real men do cry. The pain in your heart cannot be washed away by buckets of beer. Surrender your bravado. Acknowledge what you feel. You are likely to get into serious trouble if you prefer to get drunk just to forget the pain. Reality is, when you wake up, with headache due to alcohol hang-over and all, most likely, the beautiful picture of the woman you love will still be in your head, and in your heart. And just a friendly reminder, when you are not yet healed, don’t jump into another relationship thinking it will help you forget. Chances are, you will just hurt the other person and you will hurt yourself in the process. This applies to women too. Love takes time, and so with healing and letting go.
Yes it could hurt so much when you see the one you love happy with someone else. It takes a brave soul to accept change. Don’t stalk your ex’s Facebook profile and try to know all his/her whereabouts. Accept the fact that you two are now living separate lives. Don’t think that he/she deserves to be miserable just because you are miserable. Letting go doesn’t leave emptiness, hurts, and sadness. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences. It’s not about giving in or giving up, it’s about creating a brand new start.
Letting go is not obsessing or dwelling on what you used to hold dear. The statement, “I will do whatever it takes to win you back” when the person you love is already happily committed to someone else is selfish. Letting go doesn’t leave feelings of anger, resentment, jealousy, or regret because it is not about winning or losing. Instead, it is about learning, experiencing, and growing. Have the courage to set yourself free.
The best antidote for a heart that is broken to pieces is prayer. The Bible says, “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.-Psalm 34:18” God understands your pain. He can bring you healing and comfort more than anyone else. In faith, ask God to heal your brokenness then trust His perfect timing. He can put back all the tiny pieces of your heart together. Believe that every heartache is a gift from the Lord, see it as His way of saving you for the right person He prepared for you for all eternity.
Elly Roberts is an author, speaker, and artist. She uses her God-given gifts to serve God and His people. Having experienced so much suffering from childhood, she dreams of building a foundation for abandoned kids. She has counseled many women on mending a broken heart and finding love. Her writing style is very personal, honest, humble, and inspiring.
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